We all experience grief and loss at some point in life. Life challenges regarding the death of a loved one, family, friends, and including our pets. We also grieve after divorce, breakups, and even the loss of friendships. It is difficult to cope with loss, especially when death is sudden and unexpected. Whether it could be relationships and experiences, grief creates multiple challenges and can affect a person's sense of well-being and normalcy, including the loss of any connection. The impact that grief and loss have varies from person to person. When death comes, we grieve the loss of the loved one. It is best to celebrate the life of the person by cherishing the memories you have of them. When relationships break down, it may be difficult to move on. It is best to put yourself first above anything else, as your future depends on it. Our emotional response to grief and loss is only natural, and each and every one of us goes through that. How we respond to the situation will depend on our individual coping mechanisms. As humans, we experience a wide range of emotions, and we look to various ineffective solutions only to drown ourselves in pain. Sometimes, when individuals are overwhelmed, they resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, which in turn cause more harm to themselves. Coping and healing will occur if you take the appropriate steps to help yourself become emotionally stronger.
“The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on. When you're faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it, somehow, the world keeps turning, the seconds keep ticking.”
- James Patterson
“To pass through this brief life as nature demands. To give it up without complaint. Like an olive that ripens and falls. Praising its mother, thanking the tree it grew on.”
- Marcus Aurelius
“The boundaries which divide life from death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?”
- Edgar Allan Poe
"Let there be happy memories that take us by surprise, welcome thoughts of the one we miss, and healing moments that fill our hearts with hope."– Keely Chace
"To have strong feelings is what living and loving are all about. It’s all right to go on remembering and missing someone who meant so much." – Barb Loots
When I first got sick, I was angry and could not understand what was happening to me. I suffered multi-organ failure and had strokes, I was not sure whether I could live or die. The fear alone led to the grief and loss I experienced. My life forever changed, and I grieved the loss of the life I had or wished for. I could not accept my prognosis at first, and the fact that I may need a heart transplant to survive. I was fortunate that I did not need the transplant; my heart got strong enough, and I could sustain my heart with medication. Any future looked grim for me, I was not sure if I would manage the deficits from the strokes, despite all I endured, I was able to live with chronic illness and disability. Grieving illness and the lifestyle changes that accompany it are often difficult but necessary. It is ok to grieve, although getting entrapped in the grief is not healthy. Over time, I have learned to accept the changes in my life, and I can cope with it all the best way I can. It is only natural to grieve an illness, especially as you come to terms with your chronic illness, disability, or life-threatening condition. A strong support system of family and friends has a positive impact and proves beneficial to the individual who needs the support. Your survival is due in part to your ability to be mentally strong, and with help and support, it can be done.
"Life is not the way it is supposed to be. It is the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."
- Virginia Satir
"I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; Yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; Yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge."
- Og Mandino
"Some people come in your life as blessings. Some come in your life as lessons."
- Mother Teresa
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
- Helen Keller
“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.”
- Tori Amos
Grief and loss are no doubt natural and part of our life cycle, although being overwhelmed by them should not be. It is important to understand that everyone grieves differently, while some of us display grief front and center, others may grieve internally. It eats at you when you grieve your loved ones who have passed away, a breakdown in relationships, or even an illness or disability. People experience a roller coaster of emotions, and these are evident especially when you go through the stages of grief. It will affect all aspects of your life, both physically and emotionally. Your energy, appetite, sleep, and overall immune system may be impacted. People may see dramatic changes in their lifestyle and personal well-being. Understanding that there are differences in how each of us grieves will vary depending on our individual personalities. The same goes for how we develop coping mechanisms to help with the loss, or find comfort in finding solace. Seeking help and support is vital because acknowledging you may need help will no doubt make a difference. Self-care is an important part in helping get to sustainable well-being, and therapy and grief support groups can help you process and come to terms with the loss. Grieving without help causes more harm to oneself, and you may not be at peace. You can find comfort among friends and family, and grace from grief and loss.
"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to." – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
"Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve."
– Earl Grollman
"You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair."- Chinese proverb
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love." - Washington Irving
"Grieving is a necessary passage and a difficult transition to finally letting go of sorrow - it is not a permanent rest stop." - Dodinsky
"We do not have to rely on memories to recapture the spirit of those we have loved and lost – they live within our souls in some perfect sanctuary which even death cannot destroy." - Nan Witcomb
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