Dear readers, new blogs will be posted on August 11th and 25th. I would love to hear from you, please don't hesitate to email me. vish@my-chronic-journey.com 

Forgiveness

Do people who bring harm to others deserve forgiveness? Is there forgiveness within us, despite being mistreated or hurt by someone else? People have struggled with this dilemma for ages, especially those who couldn't get past their experiences. I sometimes wonder, if society was all forgiving, what would our world be like? Possibly in a utopian society, we could eliminate the sins in the world, wouldn't that be nice? Throughout our lifetime, we will no doubt struggle to forgive those who hurt us.  Forgiveness is not automatic; it is a process whereby you can develop understanding and build the confidence to forgive. It is a thoughtful and conscious decision to make, to help find salvation when choosing to forgive. When you can acknowledge and process the pain you experienced, then you can unburden yourself from the negative emotions impacting your well-being. An offense caused by a family member or friend can be overwhelming, since it impedes your relationship and trust. One must consider all the factors and the circumstances that led to the offense, and how you are affected by it. Acknowledgement and understanding of both persons involved are key when attaining forgiveness. It takes time to forgive, everyone gets there eventually. It is important to work towards an understanding and get help and guidance if needed. As time passes, and you gain the strength, you will find a way to forgive.

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Empathy

Here’s what I know: that some people find it difficult to empathize with those who are suffering. Considering that there is so much that is happening in our world, like war, famine, and natural disasters, there are still those who don't care, until they are directly impacted themselves. I sincerely believe that a sense of community, and being part of a community enhances our individual personality traits. This will help in our ability to relate to others, which in turn aids in our growth and development. A lack of empathy will hinder our growth and development, and will no doubt impede our ability to relate to other people's life experiences. The lack of empathy is often evident in narcissistic people who care more for themselves and less for others. Empathy is always a positive trait of our humanness. It exemplifies character and our understanding of kindness. Our genetics and the ability to socialize play a key role in developing empathy. Life experiences determine how each of us acquires our ability to empathize with others. We are saddened by someone else's suffering, and we try our best to help in the best way we can if possible. Our world would be a far better place if empathy played a key role in our decision-making. If people can change for the better, and empathy prevails across society, we will no doubt create a better world for everyone.

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Preseverance

Perseverance will help you get to the finish line. It does not matter whether you are battling an illness or working towards a goal like succeeding in business, career, or education. It takes hard work and grit to get there, along with a never-give-up attitude. It is important that you set yourself realistic, attainable goals; any goal has to be realistic, and as for attainable, you must work towards it. Persistence helps build character, strength, and promise that will lead to success regardless of how difficult the journey is. Without proper guidance and direction, we will fail to accomplish anything. Perseverance will enable us to achieve the impossible at times, despite the setbacks or challenges along the way. Our individual focus, persistence, and tenacity will help us channel the strength to face the challenges and overcome the obstacles. Perseverance gives credence to our pain and suffering, while our efforts and determination help us challenge ourselves. Acknowledge your circumstances, but don't let yourself be consumed by them. Life sometimes tests us at pivotal moments, how we take on these tests determines our ability to succeed. It is crucial to have faith and belief in oneself, to create a positive mindset to help you conquer the challenges. An individual's personal growth rests on a positive mindset regardless of what they may be experiencing.

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Setbacks

Setbacks are part of the journey in life. While some of us experience more than we can cope with, others may experience one or two in their lifetime. We all experience setbacks, whether from health, finances, relationships, or employment. Nonetheless, what we learn from those setbacks prepares us and channels our growth. Setbacks can have a profound impact on your life, as they impede your progress and well-being. Sometimes, it brings about overwhelming stress and anxiety for some; individuals’ coping mechanisms can vary. A setback can help you reassess your life and make the appropriate adjustments to navigate a better path in life. Each of us has different coping mechanisms to deal with life adjustments; it is always important to keep your best interests in mind as you consider everything. At any crucial point in life, it is always up to you to decide on the lessons gained and the best way to move forward. Sometimes setbacks can forever change a person, although not necessarily, considering the change may be for the better. A setback can be a positive turning point in a person's life. If so, take it all in and breathe a sigh of relief, and you may be pleasantly surprised at how the next chapter of life will unfold.

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Simplicity

Simplicity is key to success in all aspects of life. The sad reality is that we live in a world where a perfect physical appearance depicts acceptable standards of beauty, and living above our means is becoming a norm. It is becoming more evident that appearances matter more than character and inner beauty, and the media showcases acceptable appearances that society should follow. At times it looks like people are creating lifestyles that are misleading. I do believe that appropriate, acceptable appearances do matter, especially for work, school, and special occasions. These days, society has taken extreme measures to look a certain way, to live beyond their means, and to display pseudo behaviors only to pretend. There are even those who go into debt to fulfill a certain lifestyle or live a life under a false persona. While in the real world, the reality is far from that, people are living in poverty, trying their best every day to fulfill their basic needs. There are parts of our world where appearances are not a priority since most people can not live a lifestyle that some parts of today's society are accustomed to. Of course, they wish for a better life. Life is not fair. Yet somehow, they are happier and content with their lives. Compared to those who have everything in life, they are still happy or satisfied with what they have. Simplicity is a true reflection of beauty; everything else is merely a facade.

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Grief and Loss

We all experience grief and loss at some point in life. Life challenges regarding the death of a loved one, family, friends, and including our pets. We also grieve after divorce, breakups, and even the loss of friendships. It is difficult to cope with loss, especially when death is sudden and unexpected. Whether it could be relationships and experiences, grief creates multiple challenges and can affect a person's sense of well-being and normalcy, including the loss of any connection. The impact that grief and loss have varies from person to person. When death comes, we grieve the loss of the loved one. It is best to celebrate the life of the person by cherishing the memories you have of them. When relationships break down, it may be difficult to move on. It is best to put yourself first above anything else, as your future depends on it. Our emotional response to grief and loss is only natural, and each and every one of us goes through that. How we respond to the situation will depend on our individual coping mechanisms.  As humans, we experience a wide range of emotions, and we look to various ineffective solutions only to drown ourselves in pain. Sometimes, when individuals are overwhelmed, they resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, which in turn cause more harm to themselves. Coping and healing will occur if you take the appropriate steps to help yourself become emotionally stronger.

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Courage

Whether it is courage under fire or courage over fire, we all have courage within us. It can be seen in adults or children coping with illness or disability, a soldier defending their country, police and firefighters/paramedics going into harm's way, the poor and homeless, and everyone else overcoming adversities. The journey of life is filled with obstacles, and courage can help you accomplish the impossible at times. We learn from the courage shown by so many; the lessons are invaluable. We sometimes find courage in our darkest moments through trauma and unforeseen adversities. When we muster up the courage, it feels like a burst of energy soaring through our body. It is like an impenetrable armor that protects and fights on behalf of us. Our ability to succeed is not left solely to us but to all those who love and support us as well. Courage defines us, our ability to sustain and fight the battles of life. The will to persevere enables hope to thrive beyond expectations and can surprise us all. Whether you dare to do right by others or have the courage to find the strength to fight your battles. All that matters is that you are capable of doing the unexpected,  even if you least expect it, and it is because you are courageous. We are sometimes surprised by our individual strengths regardless of what we face in life. Find the courage within, and you may be pleasantly surprised by it. You will no doubt learn more about yourself, your abilities, and your own resilience.

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Life

Oftentimes, we are so caught up with the mundane things in life that we do not stop and think about the well-being of ourselves and the people we love. Navigating life and all the challenges you may face can be overwhelming for sure. Giving up is not an option. Keep moving forward with gusto and perseverance. Life is filled with obstacles and challenges, and how you overcome and cope with them determines your journey and the path you take in life. It is important to have faith in yourself and your individual abilities. Please do not take life for granted. As someone who faced death and lived to talk about it, I can say that life is so precious, and we are all here for a flash in time. I realized this only after I had my near-death experience when my heart stopped, a few times. I am grateful to the doctors for saving my life and giving me a second chance at life. Although the overall experience of impending death, and the uncertainty that came with it scared me, it also allowed me to reevaluate all aspects of my life. There comes a time in life when you start to think about how much life has changed. You wonder if you would have done something different, and maybe your life would be better or a little different. We all wish that life could be better, it is up to us to decide how much better we would like it to be. It is important to be realistic with whatever plans and goals we set for ourselves. No matter how much you wish for a better life, it comes down to the choices you make that ultimately direct the path you take.

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Hope

We may find ourselves hopeless at times and wonder whether we can be hopeful again. Try not to lose hope because hope is what is keeping you alive, as well as your vital organs and sustenance. Each and every one of us wants to be or even aspires to be hopeful. When you assess all the obstacles and challenges you may face, you sometimes wonder if there is any hope at all. It is only natural that you question the circumstances you are faced with, but it is better to review, reflect, and never wallow about those challenges. Difficult times are no doubt challenging, despite all you endure. Consider this period as a test of your will and endurance to survive. During these grim times, being hopeful can effectively surprise you. Hope gives us something to look forward to, like a new adventure, job, business, good health, meeting someone special, or even a new friend. I have been tested on so many levels; at times, I even felt hopeless. Regardless of what you face in life, overcoming the obstacles and challenges that you may face defines us, and sets us apart from others. Spreading hope by caring and sharing will no doubt help others; at the same time, it will have a profound impact on yourself and those around you. Keep love and hope present in your lives, and you will no doubt find it most rewarding and fulfilling. Hope can be contagious, so why not? By way of catharsis, even the doubtful are discovering surprises.

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Pain

We all experience pain at some point in our lives, whether it be physical pain or emotional pain. How you cope with pain enables you to manage the stress and anxiety that it brings. Some of us manage pain by developing both healthy and not-so-healthy coping mechanisms. Physical and emotional pain are equally harmful, and it can affect you on multiple levels of your life. Do not let anyone else tell you otherwise. Pain can ruin your day or even your week, and you sometimes feel helpless. I tried not to let pain control me, even though it felt like it controlled all the aspects of my life. Trying to understand one’s suffering can feel somewhat debilitating at times. Your individual experiences with pain can vary from person to person. You can take the right steps to find your ability to control your experiences and, on your terms, find the best ways to help alleviate your pain. It is not easy coping with pain, especially when you are faced with comorbid health issues. It will feel like a constant balancing act, as you try your best to cope with everything that is happening to you. For those individuals suffering from depression, the uncertainty may cause frustration and despair. I know it is no easy task, but try to remain sane, even if you are in pain. If you are not in pain, just be glad you got to live again.

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Determination

When we are determined to accomplish our goals in life, we must channel a path of hard work and grit, which will catapult our determination to achieve success. Along that journey, you will have to overcome many challenges and barriers that can impede your progress. It is important to be strong and steadfast and stand up for yourself and against your naysayers by proving them wrong. Part of success is being decisive and resolute in your endeavors, helping achieve your goals regardless of any limitations you may face. Once you give up, your mindset negatively changes, and you begin to lose focus on what you set out to achieve. When you have a positive mindset and an optimistic outlook, your determination works in your favor. Then it enables you to work towards your goals.  Trying to accomplish anything can be difficult, since you may face many obstacles and challenges that can prevent you from achieving anything. I have learned that it is profoundly helpful that you set realistic, attainable goals and work towards accomplishing them. When you set realistic, attainable goals, it gives purpose and direction to have an incentive to work towards. A determined person is driven by the possibilities of success and the accomplishment of their goals. My mentor reminded me that it takes time and effort. This holds true if you are willing to invest in yourself.

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Hopelessness

Have you experienced hopelessness at some point in life? A feeling of despair, a simple lack of hope for your future. Many people go through this at some point in their life. Some of us tackle it with ease, while others struggle to cope with stress and anxiety. Whether it is caused by loss, tragedy, failure, illness, relationship breakdowns, or job loss, most of these events are not in our control, nor do we have a magic wand to wish them away.  We have to cope as best we can and live through it. Outcomes might vary from person to person, especially regarding steps taken to remedy their individual circumstances. Even though there are both healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms to help alleviate your hopelessness,  the latter will no doubt complicate matters and worsen your grief. At times, you may feel that you are fighting an ongoing battle with yourself and the world. Once you become overwhelmed with stress and anxiety, depression can eventually settle in and further complicate your goals for feeling better. Nonetheless, you can still win the battle and become hopeful again. Trying your best to remain hopeful, regardless of how grim your situation may be, is vital for your inner sanctity. The obstacles and challenges you face may be monstrous and can make you feel helpless, leading to hopelessness. It is within your power to rectify and remedy the situation, so you can focus your attention on achieving the best outcome for yourself. I always believe that giving up is not an option, it has helped me fight my battles like an avenger is within me.

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